Guitar Regression

My second guitar lesson of 2013 and I’m pretty sure I suck more than I did in 2012. I haven’t practiced and it shows.

Ok, I’ll admit I’ve been inconsistent with my instrument in the last few months and it’s caused me to regress. I was so nervous about seeing Walter yesterday because I knew it would be obvious I hadn’t practiced in a couple of weeks. And it was. Maestro is always patient and forgiving of my bad behavior, but he did call me out on being too busy to practice due to my preoccupation with, um, other things (or people). My social calendar has been kind of full this year and my focus has been elsewhere. That’s my explanation, but, I know, it’s not an excuse.

Walter’s a nice guy and I am totally comfortable with him but, damn it, I can’t play in front of him for shit. Even on past occasions when I was practicing a lot and had a piece down, the moment I tried to play for him, my hands would start shaking or I’d flat out forget what I was doing. So you can imagine what it’s like when I haven’t practiced at all and I’ve got guilt on top of my nerves — it ain’t pretty. Last night was like this. I got tangled in my strings. I dropped F bombs. I stopped entirely and put my head down on my instrument in defeat. I’ve got video to prove it (see below).

But the night wasn’t a total bust. I got a lot from the exercise, which was playing a basic solea compas while Walter played a falseta over it. My challenge was to not get totally distracted by what he was doing, stay in the rhythm, and to keep going or jump back in if I screwed up. I still have a problem with throwing up my hands or cursing mid-play when I make a mistake, but I think I showed a little improvement. I really did try my best to keep going.

By the end of the lesson I felt good. I felt like I had learned something and that I was back in my own rhythm. Walter told me I “started slow but finished strong.” To which I replied, “That’s what she said.” I know, immature. Sometimes I just can’t help it.