It’s Just Business

I’ve been away from my blog for some time now and it’s been completely intentional. I’ve been busy, but I’ve also been going through an “I don’t want any attention” phase for the second half of this year.  So much so that I invited no one to see me solo at the show I was in a couple of weeks ago. First time EVER I didn’t tell the world I was performing. Didn’t invite my parents, my brother, or even my boo.

I’ve been in work mode lately and this particular show was kind of like a major project on a full production schedule. I didn’t have a lot of time to devote to preparation, so I had to make do with existing knowledge and resources and deliver the best product I could given my limitations. I think I did OK. I did my job, had some fun, got some experience and felt pretty good about it all. And I was grateful for the opportunity.

As much as I love performing and writing about it, my focus has shifted a lot within the last year out of necessity, especially within the last six months. I’ve had to adjust to the joys and realities of home ownership, and manage a busier schedule and new role at work. I’ve felt that expecting to spend any free time dancing or singing or writing was just … indulgent.

I’m learning that I do have a business side that sometimes needs to just get stuff done under the radar. Sometimes I want to be left alone to work. Sometimes I don’t want any attention at all.

Even as I write this, I kind of hate that I’m writing about this. Yes, the girl who has been sharing all of her deepest flamenco feelings and vulnerabilities all these years feels like she’s oversharing. It feels so … unprofessional. Gross.

But despite how all of this sounds, I’m actually in a very good place. I’m happy, content and thankful. And of course I know this phase will pass and I’ll be ready to shine again in no time.