Hitting Reset

Forgive me, flamencos, for I have sinned. It’s been eight months since my last post.

EIGHT MONTHS.

That’s a record for me so let me tell you what’s going on in my world.

My dance class attendance has been sporadic at best and I’ve had very few flamenco-related things about which to write. As for why I haven’t been in class, well, I’ll tell you and I’m going to be completely honest because I have no shame.

1. I got bigger and my bata didn’t. When bata classes began early this year, I couldn’t wait to get back into it. I hadn’t put my bata on in a couple of years, so about an hour before class I thought to myself, “Hmmm…maybe I should try this thing on …”. I stepped into it, pulled it over my knees and got it stuck at my hips. I gasped. I twisted, pulled and wiggled into it a little further, but it was still wide open in the back and there was NO WAY I could pull it closed and zip it even a little bit. Nope, wasn’t happening. I might have cried a little bit. So much for that.
2. I’ve got a basketball jones. In the spring after I lost a few pounds and could squeeze enough of my butt back into my bata to fake it, I went back to class. Ahhhhh, how great it felt to be back! I was uncoordinated and my bata was tight, but I was having fun and it was great to be back with my girls. Unfortunately this was just about NBA playoffs time and I’ve got a duty to my team. My Boo, a lifelong diehard Golden State Warriors fan, managed to get me on the bandwagon and now I AM OBSESSED. I am so obsessed that I plan my life around when the Warriors are playing. I had to come clean to Rina about my Dub-addiction (Dubddiction?) so she wouldn’t think I just didn’t want to go to class anymore. I’m not proud of how I’ve prioritized some things in my life, but hey, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
3. Potpourri. The everything-else-that-gets-in-the-way category. The times I got stuck at work late, which have been many over the last year. The times I could have gone to class but I didn’t because I felt so tired and mentally drained after work that I just couldn’t do anything or interact with anyone. The times Thursday had to be date night because that’s just what worked out for me and Boo. The times I missed class to celebrate birthdays or go out of town or visit the family. You know … life.

But back in April, I crawled out of my hole and attended the local Feria de Abril de Los Alamitos, and for the first time ever, sat in the audience and gave jaleo to Rina and my companeras as they performed without me. I didn’t feel bad, though. It felt good to support them. And just being there among all the flamencos, dressed like my friends and with my brother and my boo at my sides, I felt happy and just as much a part of the community as always.

I still have dance goals but life just gets in the way sometimes, or I let it get in the way. But I’ll keep trying. I won’t make any promises, but I’m going to hit reset and see how it goes.