I’ve been so unmotivated to post. Been in a bit of a funk, I guess. I’m so not a fan of me right now.
Lately I can’t stand watching myself dance. Don’t get me wrong, I still love dancing. It’s just that looking in a large full-length mirror while I’m doing it makes me feel bitter and defeated.
I hate that after three-and-a-half years of doing this, I can’t shake that … how do I explain it?… that novice look. It ticks me off that I still can’t correct a handful of technical mistakes I have made over and over and over again. I’m frustrated that I still can’t control my freakishly long arms that, I swear, must have their own tiny little brains that tell them to ignore me and do whatever the hell they want.
This is crazy talk, I know. Look at my previous post and it’s all positive stuff about my progress. I suppose I feel that way most of the time. Then suddenly, out of the blue, the sh*t just gets real and I’m overwhelmed by feelings of dance inadequacy and hopelessness.
Great — now I feel lame for being so dramatic. Ugh. Ok, I’ll stop now.